THE ONLY THING LIT IT THE TREE! | Ep 3

HAPPY AF | Episode 3 | THE ONLY THING LIT IT THE TREE!

Maxine and Isabelle unwrap the truth about holiday parties, the sparkle, the pressure, and how we get from “just one” to “ah! Fuck it!” This week, they’re tackling how to stay festive and fun, when everyone else is reaching for a refill. There’s little detour into sex… but in code, because some things require discretion, and Maxine IS IRISH!
 
Plus introducing a new segment Liquid Joy as they share their favorite drink recommendations from Prima Pavé perfection to Peak Cocktails’ mixology magic. They are here to talk about how celebration feels different (and SO MUCH better) when the only thing lit is the tree.
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Happy AF. That's happy alcohol free. Or better yet, happy as fuck. Either way, we're zero-proof, but full of laughs. I'm Isabelle Laurier.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

And I'm Maxine Lennon, and together we are changing the narrative on drinking booze. One hilarious episode at a time. Hi everyone. Welcome back to Happy AF. I'm Maxine Lenahan, and Happy AF, that's Happy Alcohol Free.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

And I'm Isabel, and as always, I'm happy as fuck. So welcome everybody.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

We are so happy to be back. Um today's episode, we decided to call it uh the only thing lit is the tree.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

It cracks me up every time.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Because listen, we've all been lit. Um, and now and now when we go to parties, uh we we want to talk about holiday parties, right? Because we're in the thick of it. We're in the thick of holiday parties season. And um it's a trigger point for a lot of people. It's a time of the year where people feel pressure to drink. Right. Um, they're stressed about drinking, they're stressed about parties, just going to the parties, and you're guilty about not going to the parties. It's like it's so much why. It doesn't have to be so complicated, right? It doesn't have to be so complicated. So we're gonna talk about all of that. We're also doing a new segment called Liquid Joy, where we're gonna talk about what we're drinking. Um, because uh you you've been asking from episodes one and two, why aren't you telling us what you're drinking? So we're gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Why is my mind always in the gutter? Why? What did you liquid joy and all kinds of crazy jokes are coming to mind? All right, cut this out. Why, why don't you? There's something is wrong.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

There is something listen, of all of the things. How am I thinking about this stuff? Well endowed, talking about your father in the last episode. I've done this one, but now, like, I don't know how your mind went to anything other than a delicious, delicious drink. I know. Okay, listen, uh, that's just a conversation from a child. Anyway, in the meantime, since the last episode, how have you been?

SPEAKER_01 2:10

I've been well. I've been well. I, you know, as you remember, my dad had passed away. And interestingly, speaking of AF, um, him and my mother were supposed to go to Spain to a bridge trip. Bridge the game. Like the game. So a bunch of like 80 something and a part of Spain that looks exactly like Florida, literally, right? Costa del Sol. So not necessarily my cup of tea. But anywho, my mother was not gonna go because she was mourning, and I said, I'll go with you. So I went to Spain. I just got back Friday. Oh well. She's still there. So I went just to make sure she was set. It was her, her sister was in her mid 80s and her boyfriend. And your mother's boyfriend or her the sister's boyfriend. Oh, the scissors' boyfriend. I would have been like, oh, whoa, mama. Maybe, maybe it's left. Your mom was like answing. And maybe it's not the Christmas tree that's lit. Maybe mama's on fire too. No, alas, no. But to tell you that these people are hysterical, these 80-something, it's a whole the only reason I knew they were older is because after 12,000 steps, they were exhausted. That's it. But all of that to say, so I'm like, shit, am I gonna survive this kind of vacation? Um I'm an adventurer, so like sitting on the beach on my thing, playing Bridge Either. Um, so I brought six bottles of alcohol-free wine in my luggage. Like the people at the airport charged me a million dollars because it was overweight. Oh my gosh. And I took it because I'm like, there's no fucking way I'm gonna drink fizzy water the whole vacation, right? So, and interestingly, so where I'm from in Quebec, booze is sold by the state. And so every time I've brought my alcohol-free wine at a restaurant, I was told no, no, no, no, it's gotta come from that's the same as Vermont, actually, I'm pretty sure, right? No, Vermont have been good to me, but they're being such assholes about it. I'm like, this is like a Coca-Cola. Like, what the fuck? If I brought my own Coca-Cola, anyway, number one. Then in New York, another time I go to New York in a restaurant on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, which I won't name. Okay, but I'm close to it. When we're famous, I'll name them to put them under the bus. And they did not have alcohol-free stuff on the menu. So I said, I asked permission, you know, I'm civilized. I said, I brought my own alcohol-free wine. All my friends at the table are gonna booze, so no worries. They charged me $40. Corkage. Yeah. I was like, fuck. You're like, that's twice the cost of this business. Yes. And I paid it because it was on my expense report. So fine. So, but in Spain, you know, like Spanish people usually are a little bit like rude, like obnoxious. And I speak Spanish, right? So I was like, I'll test it out. I'll bring it at the restaurant. I was certain I was gonna get my head cut off. Everywhere we went in Spain, I was able to take my alcohol-free wine for free. They would put a little bucket of ice if it was white. They were so lovely. Amazing, and it made it that I felt like part of the team, you know, eating papas and drinking at two in the afternoon, except I wasn't, but I was. So it's, you know, the stuff works.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

So, question yeah, do you think were there? Sorry, so were there alcohol alcohol-free options available in many of the places that you went to? See, so that's interesting because in the places that I've been to, even in the last six months, we talked about going to Paris and how many places had um fantastic, leave it to the French, right? Amazing names. Guckdale, my favorite, Gokdale sans risque, without I love that. Isn't that amazing?

SPEAKER_01 5:39

You were in Paris, I was in you I you was like a the love boat on Costa del Rey.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

It's not necessarily the same. But I was also in, there was a couple of other places I was I was in New Orleans, same thing. Wow. Um, almost every restaurant, every restaurant. That's surprising had a um, in fact, one restaurant. I am gonna talk about this one because it's called Brennan's, it's really famous. Right. Um, and it's Irish. It's it was it was founded by an Irishman. Uh, anyway, they were pouring one of my favorite NA wines by the Glaze.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Wines? Because Mocktails, they have a lot of places, but don't have the wines. They don't have the wines.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

They have the Wolfer, uh, the Wolfer Estate, the Long Island winery. Uh, it's spring in a bottle because their famous summer drink is summer in a bottle. Spring in a bottle. It's amazing. I have it all. It was still wine. No, it was a sparkling. Sparkling. Got it. Sparkling. But so it's interesting to think about when you have to bring your own and when things are becoming more and more available. Uh but that's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

By bringing my own, because obviously, as you can see, I'm not at all stubborn, right? I'm gonna schlep my shit out of the way. But in France, everywhere that I brought my own and I asked permission, they're like, of course, yes, in 90% of the places, they're like, Can I taste it? Can you give me the name? Because I'm gonna add it to the menu.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Oh my gosh. Which I'm gonna do. What's happening to me when I go to other people's houses now? I'm bringing, like, I bring a bottle of French bloom or I bring a bottle of some kind of sparkling and non-alcoholic wine, and they open it and then like, oh, can I taste it? And then I go to get myself another glass and it's gone. I'm like, okay, bitches, you just drank. No, no, no, no, no. You you drink the poison, you leave me my shit.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Um, but you also had like a busy week. Didn't you not throw a party two weeks? Ignite the party season.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

It's been insane. So I was in New Orleans, Halloween already happened. And you had a party. Oh my gosh, our Halloween party is um amazing.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

How did you deal with that? Like the like did people stay late because that stressed me out?

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Well, let's see. Not really. Huh? I would say 10 o'clock. That's not bad. It's not bad because, but also it was a Thursday night. So I couldn't have it on a on a Friday because Halloween, actual Halloween was a Friday and the kids still love to go trick or treating. Got it. So, and this this party, this Halloween party that we have every year, started as a party for my children where where friends would say, Is it okay if I drop my kids? Got it. I'll be back for them in three hours. And I'm like, okay, that's fine. Now, so it used to be 90% kids and 10% adults. Right. Now it's 90% adults and 10%.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

That's the way the world should be, as far as I'm concerned. You're like, all the world should be that way. Um, obviously that would end very quickly. I know. So uh so it was amazing. I have just no issue. Every bar, every party I set up in our house now have has a non-alcoholic section. I mean, I have a kids' section that has like sodas and juice and capri son, etc. And then the bar has a fully stocked bar and an equally fully stocked NA section. That's just a nice party.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Yeah, that's the thing about parties. And we were gonna talk about parties before we drink some of that delicious liquid joy here. Uh you we're gonna have to rename the segment now because I can't. You know, there's nothing like I am a broken soul.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

I'm a broken soul.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

I can't find for you. I can find dirt and like sexy jokes and about anything.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Okay, listen, why don't we actually drink something? Yeah. Here's the thing: we're going back to episode one to talk about that because the amazing thing is people were writing and sending messages saying, what the hell was that prima pave you were drinking? And then people were saying to me, eventually we're gonna get it. Oh my lord. In the meantime, yeah, we're paying for this. But and then the second episode, you and I did the peak cocktails. Right so, and then we're gonna drink something today. This is the new segment. I think we're gonna have to rename it. I don't think it can be called liquid joy anymore. You've ruined it. But let's start with the prima pave first. Yes. So just talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

The one of last week, or like two weeks ago, whatever it was. So prima pave is an it's an Italian-made non-alcoholic wine. Actually, they make still wines and sparkling wines. Today is gonna be a sparkling. But last week was their blanc de blanc, which is I think 100% Chardonnay. Yep. And um, I just in, I think it's called Biancodori or whatever. I don't speak Italian. And it is vinified. Really, you speak everything else. It is right, and the language of love, too, if you haven't noticed. Um, but um, and it's like vinified in Italy and everything else, and super delicious. And by the way, one thing I want to say not because I watch my weight, because I'm a peck of bones, yes, but I don't like sugar. It's just one of those. I'm boring not with a sugar taste. And the one thing that I don't want to develop is an addiction to sugar, because I don't like it. Anyway, so all the wines that I happen to like are low sugar. Okay. So prima pave is one of those. The whole bottle has as much sugar, I think, thanks only one glass. No, then the third of a glass, a third of a can of coke. Oh, it's nothing.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Um, so that was that. Amazing. So, and for all of these, we're gonna put links now in the captions wherever links go. I'm so bad at this stuff. But like it goes in the caption or in the YouTube description, whatever, so that people can find where to buy it.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

And the one we have now is also prima pave, but is their sparkling? And the reason we have those little syrups, if I can segue in the other. Yes, go. Um, so when I stopped drinking, it became apparent to me that I did not want to drink club soda for the rest of my adult life. So I discovered this service called We Raise the Bar or We Are Raising the Bar. Okay. Fucking amazing. It's kind of like a plated or those blue apron, but for mocktails. And the thing is, so you once per month, you get a box, okay? Yes, and you got all the ingredients for these delicious mocktails. Most of the stuff is organic and US made and small batched. And they'll even provide the accoutrements, meaning the little sticks that are cute, the even the little like ice cube maker that are in a specific shape. Sometimes you'll even get a cool glass. I mean, it is so sometimes you have like gold powder or oh my gosh, this sounds amazing. No, no, no. They're amazing and they allow and they'll do the step by step. It's always easy. Yeah. And the thing is, you'll have all the little ingredients and the right amount for two people. And one, they're the ones who made me discover prima pave in this little format.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

So let's drink this one right now.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

And because it was care royale, they made me discover these syrups that are organic, uh, small batch made in Maine. And today I have so many of those, but today I brought, and you can choose what you want. I brought the anise and I brought the tree chili simple syrup, which is so so fucking good.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Okay, I want tree chili.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Tree chilies amazing.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

All right, then the openess.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

So yeah. Okay, let me. So this is and so this is the same company? Yeah, so it's called We Are Raising the Bar. Let me like okay, what on earth is this liquid drawer like right there and there. Um, as you see, Edda, I'm open as well.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

It's like I've lost the ability to open alcohol.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

What is this thing I have here? Well, you you it's not like you brought us straightforward. Are you sure? Are you sure that's a bottle open?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

It is the shape of a panther. Yeah, but are you like, isn't that supposed to look like a I mean, talk about not rehearsing? Should we do it like with our teeth?

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Like when we're like in our water. No, we're not doing that. Maybe it's not a bottle opener. Okay. Yum. There we go. The anise one is really good.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Okay, so that's anise for you. Let me try the three chili one. Yeah. Is this a three-chili?

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Yep. Okay. Mmm. Yum yum.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

Ooh. And I'm sorry, serving. Yeah, cheers, man. Cheers, my love. Uh sante slang. This is um these are my waterfruit crystal glasses because that's the other thing. Put it putting information on the case. And that's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

We are raising the bar. We'll send you all the swag. Like, you don't eat anything.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Oh, that's delicious.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Isn't that good? It's got a kick, but I mean it's not sweet. It's got that.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

I like it, but I also actually wanted to taste it. Oh, taste it straight out.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Oh my god, this is old school, straight to the bottle. Straight out of the bottle. That's delicious, also. Oh, yeah, no problem. Prima Pave does a really, really good champagne. And they blanc. And they make a rose too. Okay. And all my drinking friends, my friends are still on the sauce, will drink that and tell me it's as good as champagne. Yeah. Yeah. You know, people that still drink, like my sister was over this weekend and she's like, let me take a sip of your Cabernet Sauvignon. And then she made a face, right? But you like our boyfriend, or boyfriend husband, who was like, You just had a sip of wine. So that's the thing with NA wine.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

It's next to it, side by side. Side by side.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

And if your expectation is spreading, exactly, it's not gonna happen. There's no alcohol in it. So you don't have the evaporation on your mouth. You don't have the same mouthfeel.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

So you need to give it up a little bit. You know what I mean? It's it's different. And I feel like when I was drinking, drinking NA's, it did they didn't taste the same. They taste different to me now because it completely reset my palate.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

And you also have an expectation that you're not drinking wine with alcohol, so it's not gonna taste like wine with alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

It tests like wine without alcohol. It's an alternative, correct? It's an alternative, it's a different drink that can be consumed with the same rituals and the same surroundings. And it tastes good. Yeah, yeah. But it tastes different. So I also want to talk about because we forgot to do this last week in the last episode in episode two. We had um peak peak cocktails because you thought I was saying pea cocktails. Yeah, yeah. I was like, well, nobody's drinking a cocktail. And what's in it? What's the mushroom that's like sweet? No, so listen, you said it made you feel high. And then I got all panicked and I was like, shit, am I drinking something that's no? So I actually printed out what the hell is in this. So peak cocktails, they are alcohol-free. Talk about no sugar, no added sugar, but only 35 calories. And they have six superfoods adaptogens, nootropics. And here's what's in it Ashwagandal. That's a thing I couldn't say. So maybe that's what was making you feel like a pies. Yeah. Curcumin, um, Ltanine. I don't know how to say that. Theanine. Um, lemon balm, tart cherry, not just fragrance cherry, tart cherry, and zinc. So that's what was in it that was making you feel like I don't know. And they come in, so here's the reason I love these. Because, first of all, they come in a can. Uh-huh. Um, they have three flavors. So what we drank last week was the um last episode was the blood orange spritz. And they also have a lemon juniper and a passion fruit margarita that has like a jalapeno kick. That is asking me not to think of sex when you talk to me this way.

unknown 16:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Jesus. Okay, so this is hilarious. That sounds bad. That one, passion fruit margarita, is my husband Andrew's favorite. Sounds hilarious. He loves this. And now we need to do a whole episode on spouses and how this has impacted how our not drinking has impacted them. But Andrew still drinks, he drinks a lot less. Same with that. And I have no expectations of him or anyone else to not drink around me. I've none. But I did have one let's call it request. I call it a rule. And it was when I stopped drinking, I was like, okay, there will be no, I need you also to not drink for private time.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

You mean sex?

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Date.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Oh, what's private time? Oh, dates. Oh, no, I seriously need to reset, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:42

No, no, no, no. Because the way you're gonna do it. I am at the other end of the spectrum. Listen, I grew up in Ireland. Oh, got it. For Christ's sake, we don't say the word sex. Oh, got it, got it.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

You call it what's that's what I'm saying. You're calling it private time. That's what I was. I thought you were talking to me code. So that's what that is, right? No drinking during private time, it's no drinking during sex, correct? Not during, before, or I mean like preambling, I get it, right? I like I'll call it private time too. I think that's sweet. Hey, Brooks, four o'clock, private time, Sunday, close the drapes.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Listen, it's so funny. I mean, I've been mocked about this my whole life. Like, my mother wouldn't say the word sex. Sex. My girlfriend, it's this, it's like you you say it um even in reference to gender. Right. The word is said as a sex quietly.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Got it. Or you gotta swallow the word, you gotta again. You're using sex and swallowing the same sentence, and you're asking me not to go there. You're making it impossible. By the way, you're fucking guilty of all of this. I'm usually very virginal. My mind is usually blank, but if you're bringing me.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

I cannot control why you're wearing headpiece. But anyway, oh my gosh, total like sexual. So you're saying Mark Rita. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

But it's so true. So that's all he's allowed to have before private time. He is because there's no booze in it. I'll get the lemon balm for Brooks.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

I'll take it and go. June if you're gonna do it. I think we're due anyway. Okay, so those are the cocktails. No, you need to open another one here. Figure it out. Can you see how quickly I drank? That gives you an inside. No, which is why I can see how it was when this was real design.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

I can't, I need real tools, baby. Like, oh, wait, maybe the paw is. I don't think it's the paw. I think it's the tail. Again, again, stop talking to me about all these like shit. Like you're doing on purpose. I'm so excited. I'm not doing it on purpose.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

I can't do that. Oh, you are so close. Now everything has sexual indoor. Nice, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

And once you start, you can't stop. It's like chips. Everything it's like eating chips. Yeah, one. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Listen, it we're not advertising as a fucking family show. So it's all good. Private time being day parties, holiday parties, right? That's that's I don't know about you. Like, do you have work parties as well? Do you have no? Because I kind of work by myself. I know, but you go and have team meetings all the time. Like you talked about how oftentimes your work meetings and celebrations would have so much alcohol in them.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Right. So um, I have like lunch meetings. I don't, I don't have so many friends, so I don't have a lot of celebrations. Not the joking. But no, so I don't have a lot of work parties, thank God. And when I did, I would drink wine glass of wine and get the hell out. Because I don't know, I'm not a big work party person, but I did throw a lot of parties in my days. And whether it was drinking or not, but more so when I was drinking, actually both ways. My anxiety about parties, it's not having people over, I don't care about that. My mother is very anxious about parties too. It's not about it being perfect, I don't care. Because my my point of view is like So what makes you anxious? I invited you, so if you don't like it, fuck off. Get you invite me next time. I like going to bed early, and I'm always anxious about people over staying their welcome and staying too late, past what I can summon. And when I was drinking, so basically, in my my case is like nine o'clock, I want everybody gone. And obviously, usually like they just started, right? Um, so then I would just drink myself through it. You know what I mean? Right. To give you the stamina, to just give me like and I like to not think about it. Not think about the anxiety. Liquid courage. Liquid joy.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

You see, that's where I got the play on words for liquid joy. Instead of liquid courage, it's liquid joy. Liquid courage. So, but that's liquid courage or liquid stamina again. Everything I say now. And there's nothing stamina.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

I mean, listen, you said we're we're we're just showing you about alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

So I mean, we're absolutely yeah, go on anyway. So you would drink that to make yourself stayed through the party.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

And now that I don't drink, um, and also I think it's also also being a bit older. There's a point in your life where you're like, you know what? You're coming over, it's gonna start at five, and it's finished at 9 30. Yes. Nine o'clock, I ring the bell. Everybody up nine thirty, maybe nine forty five. I have to get one of those. You know, I think like I think Also, is with wisdom that you're like, come on, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Um, also, the older I feel, the older I get, the more important sleep is to me. Right. I have always been one of those people that sleep. If you I joke about this all the time, if you want me to give up the secret to anything, if you want to torture me, deprive me of sleep. Yes. If you deprive me, I would probably just, you know, I would do anything to say if you let me sleep, I will tell you. Uh but as I get older now, it's like I am I'm unproductive, I'm grumpy, grumpy mama bear. I don't like I need my sleep. And my husband and my children are so aware of that now. It's like, but I get up, I'm an early bird. Same. Have always been an early bird. And I also think that was when I look back now, I think that was a big part of the hangover problem for me. I was never a person, and I had plenty of friends when we go out to two, three o'clock in the morning, they would sleep until two o'clock the next day. I can't do that. I can't do it. I can't do that. I can't do it. I would get to eight o'clock, maybe nine o'clock, and then I'd be up, and then I do, oh gosh. It's it's um plus that sleep when you drink.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

So I'm a different way I'm like a rock too, but like now that I don't drink, it's like I'm having an operation, right? It's I'm out. Yeah. But when you drink, you know that bloody, like you pass out, and then you wake up at 2:30 in the morning and you do so badly and you toss and you toss and then you dehydrate it, and there's no amount of water on the world that's gonna quench that thirst. And I was the one I didn't think at hangovers because I was highly functional, yeah, but now I realized I did. Yeah, but it's like that fucking sleep, and you know your heart starts beating like fast like the worst. No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

The worst, it's the worst, it's the worst. So, me and parties, it's funny because I've always you throw so many parties. We do, we're a big entertaining household, and I've always been that way. And huge parties, huge parties, and I have when I was, you know, doing my Sex in the City years in New York, um, I remember I had a new group of friends over who were mingling with an old set of friends who knew me very well, and this is indicative of me at parties, right? I go, I go, I go, I go, I want to be the last person standing. But then when it, when it when it happens and I'm like out, I can't stand up anymore, and I'm so tired, I will venture to the bathroom. And these I'm talking about parties in my house, parties in my apartments, right? I will venture to the bathroom and I will never return. And um like you hide? No, no, no, I pass out. I guess. Oh, you pass out in the toilet? No, or in the toilet. Or wherever, wherever. I'm not gonna say that's never happened. But but I go to the bathroom, I go to my bedroom to hide. And you're like, and then and then no, and then I'll just like, oh, and I used to say to myself, I'm just gonna lie down for five minutes, and then it's over. And I remember at this one party, this guy, who's my friend Jerry, who's now one of my best friends in the world, it was his first time in my apartment, and he said to my other friend, he was like, So um, is Maxine okay? I just I just haven't seen her for a while. And uh my friend was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, she's gone to bed. And Jerry was like, What? She just like left and went in the other room and went to bed. She's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess that's what they call the Irish exit. Um, and that has happened to me in this house a number of times. I have a very funny story about my wonderful friend Jayani. Same thing, going, I wonder, is my scene gone to bed? Or and this is like my husband's funny. There's still like six or eight people drinking. And I have like wandered into the bedroom and and and then I went, I guess in this occasion, I went to to sit on the bed for a minute. I slid off the bed. Holy shit. My friend Jayanny comes in and she to pick me up, and um, she's about a foot taller than me. So she's like, I picked you up like a rag doll and just put you in bed. Um, so I terrible. All I mean, not that I am so we're like different drinkers, like different drinkers.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Because you're you you said you could like spend days and days and not drink, but when you drank, there was not much of an off switch, I think. Right. Zero off switch. Whereas like I had an off switch around nine o'clock, but I started very early during the day and I drank every day. Yeah. Like I remember, like before I started trying to moderate, like a few, like two years ago, and then I was like, I can't do that, it's too hard. But before I did that, I remember distinctly thinking last time I did not drink for one day. At that point, I was like 50. And I was like, last time I didn't drink for one day, I remember where it was. I was 30 years old with my friend Orly in Peru on an island in Lake Titicaca. We were hosted by a little village of people where there's no electricity or anything like that, and it was no booze. So it wasn't a choice. You literally went to the show. And I remember we were like hosted in like a village dance. We had to wear the garb and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, as I said, I speak Spanish, so I'm like, I was looking for booze, and they're like, Well, the only thing they sold was pisco, which you make pisco sour with. And they I was like, fuck it, I'll have a pisco. And they're like, you had to buy the whole bottle. And my friend Orlie was like, Are you fucking for real? And I was like, shit. I was gonna do it, but she made me feel guilty. So you didn't do it. So I didn't do it. So can you so I could remember that was the last time I had not not drunk.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

But so back to parties then. So you if you would drink at every single party. Oh hell. And then, but but then you were able to say, Okay, now I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

So yes, and my that's something my mom pointed out to me. She's like, you know, I don't think I've ever seen you drunk. Yeah, that was an amazing accomplishment. Well, she probably has. There was always a level of drunkness. Yes, yes, you know, it just but you could that was always a little somewhat drunk, but you know, functional. Right. So yeah, so I was I would be the first one at parties to leave. I would be the first one to turn to stop drinking. But keep in mind, by the time I got to the party, I'll re-add a bottle of wine. Yes. Right? So I was not one who gets to be. What is it called?

SPEAKER_00 28:16

What do we used to call that?

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Um functional alcoholics.

unknown 28:19

No.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

No, when you get when you drink before you go somewhere. Um cheap. Uh there used to be a term for that, like pre-pre pre-party or something like that. Is that what that is? Like pre-game. Pre-game. Pre-game. Because it's like a sport in reference. For me like, oh my god, I sound like such a few.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

And the thing is, like if I add a glass of wine at lunch, I couldn't stop. I need to keep drinking. Yeah. Otherwise, I don't feel right.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Well, I mean, and that's the whole thing. And for me, very, very different situation because weeks, days, months, uh, no drinking, not an issue. But then, and also look, plenty of times I could have two glasses of wine and go home. Right. But there were too many times in my life, or there were lots of times. I never say too many, because I have no regrets, right? I have no regrets about all the years of drinking and partying. There's some of them, some of the best memories, best relationships, many, many things. So it's just now I don't want to do it anymore. Right. Um, is is for me, it's that like once once I got going, it was like fuel. And once I got going, then I didn't want it to stop. And it's it's um the other, you know, you just mentioned uh trying to moderate. Right. I think that's another thing. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about where he was like, you know, when you go out to parties and you think I'm in this season now, or if I look at my calendar, so-and-so's party, this party, this person's birthday, this person's Christmas party, this person. And it's like he was like, I look at it and I think, oh shit, there's so many things I have to do. And if I drink at every one of those, I'm gonna I'm gonna have a rotten December. Right. So then he was saying, I was thinking about, you know, this one I will only I will go, but I'll only have one drink at the time. And is he able to do that? No, I said to him, Are you do you think you're gonna be able to do that? And he said, No, it's really hard. And I remember I would say that too. I would say, Okay, this is this is a holiday party. It's on a Wednesday night. I've got so much to do on Thursday. I'm gonna go to the party and I'm only gonna have one. Can I tell you something? And do you know what happens after just one? What? Just two. Well, of course. And do you know what happens after just three? For me, no, then it's the oh fuck it. Of course, right? It's like it's the holidays.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

And is that whole dopamine thing to explain it? Like, there's a whole physicality behind that. And what I've found out, you know, I told you I read like all the quitlets, especially those that are science-based, because that's what interests me. Yes. And once you understand why you can't stop out one, like there's a physical reason, all of this, then you're like, shit, it makes sense. And I found like in my little like research, should I take my NPR voice? So I've done a research, field study. Um, the people like my mom, my mom is a complete like one glass of wine kind of girl. Yes, so is my aunt. But guess what? They don't like it, they don't like booze. That's why they'll have one glass of wine to do like everybody else, but see, but they don't like it. Everyone I know that actually enjoys alcohol, when they have their one glass, they're like, you, that's good. All of those are all of those have a hard time stopping at one. The only ones that I've met that are like, I have no problem walking away, they will also say, I don't really like it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

If you add that method also, I think, um, and I, you know, me, I read so much Quitlet as well, and I can't remember which one it was that talked about the spectrum, right? The gray, it's the gray area drinking, I think. Yeah, or or but but it's like everybody's on it. She talked about the idea of everybody who drinks regularly is a little bit addictive. Of course. You're either a lot addicted or you're a little bit addicted, but you're on the spectrum, right? Because it's an addictive substance. Right. Once you take it, it's um, and that was uh goodness, I can't remember which book that was. But thinking about like I have an an aunt like that, for example, who has a glass of champagne at a wedding or on Christmas Day. But she will say, Oh, I don't really like the taste of it. There you go. But so here is someone asked me this week after listening to the first two episodes, they said, What on earth made you want to do this? Like this podcast on top of everything else that you're working on in your life right now. And I said, You know what? I'm shit sick of the wrong narrative. We talk about this in the description of the show. This show is not to make light of people who have serious addiction issues and are in recovery, right? They have a serious job to do and it's a Herculean task. I've seen it in my family where every single day you have to address the fact that you cannot drink today. Right. There are those people. Then there are people like your mom and my aunt who are drinking one or two glasses over the course of the fucking year. And they don't they don't really like it. But then I say there's everybody in between those, and that's who I um I want to talk about is instead of us saying, I don't like it, because I actually now no longer like the taste of alcohol, but because I and I have tested it, I test it all the time when Andrew has a cocktail or a glass of wine. I'm like, let me taste it. And every time I'm like, oh God, I really, really don't like it. So I no longer like the taste of it. Right. But it's not that. It's this, it's the why? Why do we have to keep living in a world where your mom is drinking alcohol even once or twice a year so that she fits in? So my answer to this person was here's why I'm doing it. I would like in the next, I don't even know how many years, for it to become a normal thing to be able to say at a party, I don't drink alcohol. The same way as if you, if somebody offers me a cup of tea and I say, I don't take sugar in my tea, they are not gonna go offended. Oh, wonder why she doesn't take sugar in her tea. And not only they're not gonna ask questions about whether or not I have a problem with sugar.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

And there's also where in the world, too, you're right about you don't want to live in a world where you know it's we're normalizing alcohol. I'll give you an idea. Like, I have a family care doctor who I love, I've known him for 30 years. He's great, he's hysterical. Actually, he leaves my husband every year after his test. He leaves him a voicemail and he's like, It's Dr. So and so, you live another year. Like, I think it's hysterical. But, anyways, my point is I'd be like, Hey, Dr. You know, Dr. So and so. I'm up like a bottle bottle and a half a day. You know when they ask you, do you smoke? Yes, yes. I'm up like you were honest. Nobody is honest. Hell yeah. I'm like, I'm super honest. And he was like, ah, that's a bit much. Anyway, social. He would write social. And my point is, yeah, like I was up taking two Pepsi Day C a day because I would have like stomach issues. And even my gastroenterologist, who's another great doctor, would be like, All right, you might want to reduce a little bit, but let's say you won't well take two pepsiday C. You can take even up to three, rather than say, shit, Isabel, like a bob and a half a day at your age, like for all these years, that's a lot of alcohol. And right, I remember once I quit, I was like, What's that? And now I don't have to take all this medication. And he's like, No, certainly it's because all the alcohol you're drinking, but he would have never said that. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Because it's almost like they don't want to say it. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 35:25

And you don't want to step on someone's alcohol drinking unless they're fall over drunk.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Yeah, yeah. Right. Which and I just think we now have more information. It's we now have substance. We have like the number of people since the first two episodes have come out that I know that I that I know either in my life or in my work in this town or you know, places that that um I've visited that will write to me on Facebook or on my newsletter and say, you know, it was the greatest thing I ever did. I never talk about it. Why? It's okay to talk about it. Right. It's okay now to talk about it. And the more people that talk about it, the more it is okay. Right. And and coming into the holiday seasons, the holiday season parties, like it really is the time for us to. I just love walking into a room now and saying, no, I don't drink. I don't drink at all.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

And for those people that are like, and I remember that being a drinker, although I was a daily drinker, you're right, during the holidays, I would have like a little bit of the anxiety of, oh shit, all these parties every day. Yes. And now I would be drinking more than usual, right? Instead of bottle, bottle, and a half. Then it's like a lot more. And also a lot of these parties, that was another thing, would start like, you know, it would be at five o'clock. And you haven't eaten anything. Oh, okay. And now, like you're drinking and drinking and drinking, and then you eat at nine o'clock, and it's nothing is gonna soak it up. And then you're doing it the next day and the next day and the next day. And remember that anxiety of like, fuck, I'm gonna feel like shit for a whole month, right? So, for those of you that still drink and you're like, listen, man, I'm not like Mother Theory, so I'm not gonna quit like you guys. Fine. But just know that let's say your calendar is like ours back in the days when you're like, I can't, oh man, I'm gonna be like getting wasted back to back. Yes. Know that there's some substitute, maybe just for one in the middle of the week, one of those parties, bring your own swag, and the people are getting better about it. People are getting better at like respecting that you want to take a night off, and you can have something delicious and fit in. Yeah. And by the way, when I was in Spain and I, you know, I brought my own poison at the table. People then forget that you're not drinking with them because you are.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

People, it's just the momentary thing. And then forget it is something that I so many people have said to me, I don't want to be the one at the party not drinking. I don't want to be the one at the dinner table that says no thanks to wine. Right. It's like I don't, you know, that combined with, I also think we've talked about this, you and I, a lot, about the the habitual nature of it. It's like you walk into a room and somebody automatically gives you a drink. Even if you don't want it, you're gonna take it. Right. Right? It's like here, uh merry everything. Let's toast, let's da-da-da. So it's that is the key to a lot of my success. Uh-huh. Is the fact that there is wonderful alternatives. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

And you get that buzz, like, not a buzz, but I, you know, they talk about um, oh, you drink alcohol, it caught it creates dopamine, and that's what makes you like giddy and wants to get more. But this they found that that happens before you actually get the alcohol in your system. The mere fact because it's the excitement of reaching. So the same thing happens with the AF. The mere fact of reaching for your glass and putting something in it, you're gonna get that. And you eventually forget you're not drinking booze. Yeah. Until you go home and you sleep like a rock.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Well, and here's when you remember the you didn't drink juice is when you wake up the next day. Yes. And you know, still for me, now over a year of not drinking, still every single Saturday and Sunday morning, I open my drapes and I think, I am not hungover today. And it's just like it's it's joy.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

That's and those and those fucking texts, like, you know, did I piss off someone? Did I ask her if she was pregnant? And she's not like, you know, and like you start texting your friends and you're like, hey, how are you doing? Wedding, like she's she gonna get back to me or not, right? Like you look, you're like, and then you have a half hour of uh cold sweat, yeah, like in your coffee, and you're like, and then she replies, oh my god, it was great. I barely remember anything. You're like, oh my gosh, Lord, so thank you.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

I hate to tell a story now that I wasn't, I didn't even remember until just this moment. I wonder, um, like, and then I want to know if you have if you have an example of this.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

I'm sure you do. I'm sure I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

I'm sure you do.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Where you wake up with a fucking injury. I thought you were gonna say with a stranger, and I was like waiting. Well, you know, my husband might listen to this. It was precious. It was pre-husband. I'm but with pre-injury. Wait, no, no, no, with an injury. Interesting. I never had any broken anything, but I would be like, man, I bruise so fucking easily. I'm always covered in bruises. And now that I don't drink, I am never covered in bruises.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

So this was a holiday party a number of years ago. And I and and it wasn't until the next day when I saw this huge cut on my knee, and I was like, what the again?

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Like it's really hard. Like you're you're bringing a lot of guttery type thing to the table. Oh my god, I cannot believe you went there. No, but listen, with the private times and not the cuts on the knees and the liquid joy. Like, what, like, come on now? Like, you're you're making it so hard. That is not what I was talking about. How did you get the cut on the knee?

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Andrew, where were you that day? So um, we were at someone's birthdayslash holiday party, and we were leaving, and I love to get dressed up for holiday parties. Oh, same, same, same, same. I have an entire collection of red, sparkly things, heels with big sequin bows and baubles on them. I love that. It is my thing. Right. And of course, we live in Vermont where we're getting those heels out to a party. No, but now in Vermont, I know the Vermont way. You take those shoes with you in a bag. In a bag, and then you put them on when you get inside. Correct. So, anyway, I was a lazy ass leaving the party. Apparently. In your heels? In my heels. In the winter? In the winter. Oh my god, walking a ramp that was covered in black ice. Wow.

unknown 41:48

What?

SPEAKER_00 41:49

And you don't remember it? Wiped out. Maybe you had a concussion. It wasn't, no, no, no, it didn't hit my head. I hit my knee. No, but maybe you hit your head too. No, I didn't hit my head. Oh, thank God. But I remember the next day then saying, Where the f did that cut come from? Wow. And then I, you know, this is what happens. The next day you start piecing shit together, and I was like, oh my God. Did I? And then of course, then the text messages start coming in. No, are you? Are you okay? And I'm like, oh shit. Not only did I wipe out, lots of people saw me wipe out.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

Hate that I don't like funny stories like that. No, I was like such a well-behaved drunk. I mean, now people that know me are probably like well-behaved, fuck you, I know you, but I'm not, I'm also not well-behaved sober. So that doesn't but no, like, I mean, listen. But the beauty is regrettable people, yes. Like bruises are exactly what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

Right. Because you've bumped into things, are you more than bumping?

SPEAKER_01 42:43

And apparently I did not know that, but apparently, on top of it, alcohol makes you bruise more easily, which I did not know. So on top of getting bumped, then it creates much more of a disastrous. Now I'm talking like fist big bruises.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:57

And you're like, either at a good time or something went south, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Like right.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

So, but now I never have a bruise. Never, ever, ever.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

No, no. Well, and I don't have cuts on my knees for the wrong reasons anymore.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

Well, and those that you get now you won't share with the world because they were for private times and liquid joints.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Okay, you know how how insanely shy and interesting. My husband is, and he's behind the glass right now, running the sound on this, and he's dying. He's on the screen. He's literally dying behind the screen right now. It's uh I am so thrilled to be going into my second holiday season. That's right, same here. Alcohol free. Right. Actually, alcohol free. Alcohol free. I've never known you. Guess what? I didn't realize this until today. What? It's almost exactly a year since you and I met. Really? Yes. And look what came up on my phone was the picture of you and I. At Dorset.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

In at the Dorset In. Oh. Where by the way, they do have non-alcoholic wine on their menu probably without us requesting it. Oh, yeah. And they let you take your own. They have multiple. They're really great. Shout out to the Dorset In. They're the best in the West. And Chris the Bartender is top. Top of them. And LSA is the best way to make it.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

They are the best. Well, I don't know where the photo is now because you're going to find it though before this episode is over. Um, and here's the other thing that we uh we wanted to do today. Um talk about some of the awesome people that wrote to us. Look at us. Um, just because, listen, I want to tell you something. I didn't tell you this. When we started doing this, like I remember just saying to you, it was after that night. It was after you and I hanging out for the first time at the Dorset Inn where I said to myself, Oh my God, that was electric. That was so amazing. Right. And I feel like people would get a total kick out of you and I talking about this. Like it came to me after just one hangout. Look at you. Like uh amazing. Right. But but I am an artist, I am a people pleaser, I am someone that wants the audience to like me. Uh-huh. And and I gave up on that. When we did the when we did the first couple of episodes, the you know, I was I was vacillating after watching them between this is fantastic. And then 24 hours later, I'm like, oh Christ. Who wants to listen to shit? That's more my point. And that's what I was thinking. I was like, people are gonna be like, who gives a fuck about your story? Right. Turns out that my inclination or my my my intuition was was resonating with people, is resonating with people. So here's a little moment we're gonna take. I want to read some of the things that other people said. Okay, Isabel and Maxine say the quiet part out loud. That's what I was just talking about. That it's time to normalize an alcohol-free lifestyle, but this is no preachy health show. That is correct. Their chemistry and honesty provide fun and refreshing insight into a very trending topic, and that is from Allison Kay.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

Aww. Does she want to be my best friend? Um, the next one is from he should recuse himself because I've given him vegetables from my garden, and I think he's just sucking up. Who is um Ryan M. This is really wonderful podcast, entertaining, informative, resonating without being preachy, literally laughing my ass off. Oh, Ryan, another cat of tomato sauce for he's the guy who introduced me. He's the matchmaker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the next one is stories about alcohol's harms have their place, but they don't speak to everyone. This sweetie Hartford podcast offers a refreshing take. Maxina and Isabel show out alcohol free life can bring more connection, clarity, and laughter than you'd ever expected. The pilot was hilarious, Liepi. Well, thanks, Liepi.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

Oh, amazing. Okay. I feel like I've had a wonderful visit with you and Isabel, and I'm looking forward to the next visit. There's so many specific comments you both made that are gonna resonate and comfort and empower people to make themselves feel better and live without alcohol. Congratulations on an excellent, impactful first episode. Marge M. Okay, full disclosure. Marge M is my amazing mother-in-law.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

Oh thank you, Marge M.

SPEAKER_00 47:27

She is the greatest mother-in-law in the history of the human. Mother-in-law is like so unbelievably amazing and supportive. Um, okay, one more. You guys, I listened and I loved it, love it, love it. Such a good chat, such good banter and dynamic between the two of you. It's out of this world, and I can't wait for your holiday set. Kate M. So listen, everybody. Write to us, tell us what you think. Um, the other thing I would love to do, because what this these first few episodes have inspired from some of my friends, right, is them to ask me questions that I'm like, Jesus Christ, why does it take a podcast for you to feel it was okay to ask me these questions?

SPEAKER_01 48:13

I would like to hear the stories of people surviving the holidays booze wise, like the hangovers, the the choosing to not drink that one night and how that felt. Because sometimes just one night off is more difficult than just giving it up. Like everybody's different a little bit. And other people are like, no, that my husband can do the nights off and he's fine with that, right? Right. So you can't do that. I'd I'd like to hear the stories and the experiences of people surviving the holiday season. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

All right, look, I found the photo.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Now look. Oh, that is a good one. That's when I was still blonde.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

Also, it does look like you're not that fucking excited.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Look at me. I am not a blind, I'm not a good picture person. This is my picture. You're like, I guess I'm stuck with this. That's the smile that's in Visaline smile. So I'm very gummy. And so I always very mindful of still photos. You look like the chick from Roxanne. Otherwise, you not photos.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

You've been filled up before. Chick from who? From Roxanne. I don't know who's that at. It must have been love. I don't know what she looks like.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

Okay, look up Roxette. Should I go blonde again? Do you like my natural color? I love you always. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

She can't ask her anything. It's always positive. I gosh darn it. I'm so full of joy. Happy friends. They're happy as fuck. We are happy as fuck. There you go. Oh my god, this was amazing. Um tune in for the next session. Because the next session, I'm really excited about the next episode. We're gonna talk about Christmas. Christmas, holiday, all the holidays, and Hanukkah. Um, although I don't have any nightmare Hanukkah stories, but I I do, I am actually gonna tell you about my best and worst Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_00 50:03

Is a good one. Wow. Yeah. Um I've had a couple of words. And the other thing I want to talk about in the next episode is uh gifting, like presents, giving presents at Christmas and all of that stuff and the stress that comes around with it. So tune in. Um, like we said, send us questions. Tell us your stories about surviving the holiday uh season and the holiday party um season. And please follow us, happy AF Podcast. Uh you can sign up for the newsletter, happyafpodcast.com. We're on all the social places, platforms. Listen to us on uh Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and you can watch us on YouTube. So I am happy alcohol free. I am Maxine Lenahan.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

And I'm Isabel. And if it's not been obvious yet, I'm happy but as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 50:57

See you next time. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 50:59

Thanks for listening to Happy AF. We hope you laughed, learned, and maybe thought twice about what's in your glass. Subscribe, share, and find out more at happyafpodcast.com. And until next time, don't forget, stay zero proof and always happy as fuck.